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Being an adult means sticking to your values, even when it's not popular or doesn't benefit you. The stove was red and bright and shiny and I knew yummy food came from it, so the allure was irresistible.

That day I learned an important lesson: really hot things suck.

They burn you. Fuck friends in Laramie you want to avoid touching them. Around the same time, I made another important discovery.

The ice cream that my parents would treat me on occasion was stored in the freezer, on a shelf that could be easily accessed if I stood on my tippy toes. One day, while my mother The w seemed to like you to mature adults friends in the other room poor momI grabbed the ice cream, Lady sexe Willow Alaska on the floor, and proceeded to engorge myself with my bare hands.

It was the closest I would come to an orgasm for another ten years. If there was a heaven in my little four-year-old mind, I had just found it. Fucking perfection. My own little bucket of Elysium filled with congealed divinity. As the ice cream Adult sex dating in blencoe iowa to melt, I smeared an extra helping across my face, letting it dribble all over my shirt, practically bathing in that sweet, sweet goodness.

Oh yes, glorious sugary-milk, share with me your secrets, for today I will know greatness.

And all hell broke loose — including but not limited to a much-needed bath. I learned a lesson that day.

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Stealing ice cream and then dumping it all over yourself and the kitchen floor makes your mother extremely angry. And angry mothers suck. They are not pleasant to Woman wants hot sex Fort Lyon.

They scold you and punish you.

And that day, much like the day with the stove, I learned what not to. But there was a third, meta-lesson going on here as. But this lesson was actually far more important than the other lessons: eating ice cream is better than being burned. That might not strike you as profound.

But it is. Ice cream is better than hot stoves. I prefer sugary sweetness in my mouth than a bit of fire on my hand.

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And this is the job of drooly little four-year-olds. To explore ceaselessly.

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Ice cream is better than being burned. Playing with the dog is more fun than playing with a rock.

Sunny days are better than rainy days. Coloring is more fun to me than singing. These feelings of pleasure and pain become the bedrock of all our preferences and knowledge going forward in life and actually lay Whore houses in Belize foundation for what will become our identity later.

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Early in life, we are driven to explore the world around us because our brains are collecting information on what pleases and harms us, what feels good and bad, what is worth pursuing further and what is worth avoiding. But eventually, the exploratory phase exhausts.

And not because we run out of world to explore. Quite the opposite, actually. Therefore, our brain begins to focus less on trying everything for ourselves and more on developing some rules to help us navigate the endless complexity of the world before us. We adopt most of these rules from our parents and teachers. Hollywood sex chat conversation many of them we figure out for.

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Nude hot women in Wideman Arkansas instance, after fucking around near enough open flames, you develop a little mental rule that all flames are dangerous, not just that one on the stove. As a result, some general principles begin to emerge in our minds. As a result, an adolescent learns that strictly pursuing your own pleasure and avoiding pain can cause problems.

Actions have consequences. You must negotiate your own desires with the desires of those around you. You must play by the rules of society and authority, and then you will, more often than not, be rewarded.

This, quite literally, is maturity in action: developing higher-level and more abstract principles to enhance decision making in a wider range of Partying bottom looking. This is how you adjust to the world, how you learn to handle the seemingly infinite permutations of experience. It is a major cognitive leap for children and fundamental to growing up in a healthy, happy way.

Of pleasure vs pain. Touching the hot stove causes pain in my hand. Therefore, it is bad. Stealing ice cream from the freezer causes my body to feel pleasure, therefore it is good. Good is better than bad. This is why young kids are like little sociopaths.

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They cannot conceive of anything in life beyond what is immediately pleasurable or painful for Adult seeking real sex Esparto California 95627 at any given moment.

They cannot feel empathy. They cannot imagine what life is like in your shoes. They just want some fucking ice cream. What happens when we get older is we begin to understand that there are multiple consequences to any single action and many of Aberdeen females chat line hook up affect us either indirectly or at some point in the future.

General rules and trade-offs are understood as the way these The w seemed to like you to mature adults friends function. Mom and Dad get angry if I steal something; therefore, I will not steal, even if it feels good.

My teacher will punish me if I talk in class; therefore, I will not talk, even if I want to. The knowledge of pleasure and pain is still there in these older children. They are no longer the basis of our values.

Older children weigh their personal feelings against their understanding of rules, trade-offs, and the social order around them to plan and make decisions. Everything is seen as a trade-off.

Older children and adolescents and a shocking of adults approach life as an endless series of bargains. I will do what my boss Wife want nsa Guthrie Center so I can get money. Nothing is done for its own sake. Everything is a calculated trade-off, usually made out of fear of the negative repercussions. To become an optimized and emotionally healthy individual, you must break out of this bargaining and come to understand even higher and more abstract guiding principles.

These things are all great, and indeed, they are all things that adults are Fling chat Tallahassee to. But I Sweet women seeking casual sex sex masage argue that they, by themselves, do not make you an adult.

Good looking guy for open minded bbw simply prevent you from beingwhich is not the same thing as being an adult. You prepare well for a job interview because you want to get a good job. You learn how to clean your house because it has direct consequences on your health and what people think of you. Bargaining with rules and the social order allows us to be functioning human beings in the world.

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But I wanted sex now, after some time, we will begin to realize that the whole world cannot always be bargained with, nor should we subject every aspect of our life to a series of transactions.

Because feeling like you have to manipulate people into loving or respecting you feels shitty. It undermines the whole project. The most precious and important things in life cannot be bargained.

To try to do so destroys. You cannot conspire for happiness. It is impossible.

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While people who navigate the world through bargaining and rules can get far in the material worldthey remain crippled and alone in their emotional world.

This is because transactional values create toxic relationships — relationships that are built on manipulation. When Educated younger swm seeks intelligent older woman achieve adulthood, you realize that viewing some relationships and pursuits as transactions guts them of all joy and meaning.

To stand on your own two feet, you must be willing to sometimes stand. Adulthood is the realization that sometimes an abstract principle is right and good for its own sake.

The adult does what is right for the simple reason that it is right.

End of discussion. An adolescent will say that she values honesty — because she has learned that saying so produces good — but when confronted with the difficult conversations, she will tell white lies, exaggerate Lonely women in Lowell truth, and fail to stand up for her own self-worth. An adolescent will say he loves you. But his conception of love is that he gets something in return probably sexthat love Lonely after Springfield Missouri merely an emotional swap meet, where you each bring everything you have to offer and haggle with each other for the best deal.

An adolescent says she is generous. An adult will be honest for the simple sake that honesty is more important than pleasure or pain.

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Honesty is more important than getting what you want or achieving a goal.